Have you ever wondered why some people perceive you as socially awkward or “weird”? It’s not always easy to pinpoint the root causes, and even friends may respond with platitudes like “Just be yourself!” But for those facing social isolation or discomfort, this vague advice isn’t helpful.
This blog identifies 11 specific behaviors that could lead to perceptions of awkwardness—and offers actionable tips to help you navigate these challenges. The good news? All these skills are learnable with effort, awareness, and practice.
Social Awkwardness: It’s About Behavior
Perceptions of awkwardness are often shaped by observable, specific behaviors. People may struggle to articulate why they find someone “weird,” but their impressions are based on subtle violations of social norms. By addressing these behaviors, you can change the way others perceive you.
Let’s dive into the 11 specific behaviors that could be holding you back—and how to fix them.
1. Too Much or Too Little Eye Contact
Eye contact is a powerful tool in communication, but balance is key.
• Too much eye contact: Staring intently can make others uncomfortable, as it feels intrusive or overbearing.
• Too little eye contact: Avoiding eye contact entirely may come across as shy, disengaged, or uninterested.
Tip: Practice making natural eye contact during conversations. Look away occasionally, blink normally, and return your gaze to show attentiveness.
2. Inappropriate Interpersonal Space
Respecting personal space is crucial to making others feel comfortable.
• Too close: Standing within 12-18 inches of someone (in American culture) may feel intrusive unless you have a close relationship.
• Too far: Standing several feet away during a conversation may seem distant or aloof.
Tip: Observe social norms for personal space, which vary by culture. In the U.S., 12-18 inches is a typical “personal bubble.”
3. Poor Hygiene
Strong body odor or bad breath can easily make others avoid interaction. In American culture, the expectation is to maintain daily hygiene.
• Common issues: Unbrushed teeth, sweaty odors, or excessive scents from food.
Tip: Brush your teeth regularly, use deodorant, and ensure your clothing is clean. This small effort goes a long way in improving others’ perceptions.
4. Lack of a Filter
Saying whatever comes to mind, regardless of context, can offend or confuse others.
• Examples: Discussing taboo topics (e.g., politics, religion, body functions) in inappropriate settings.
Tip: Learn the rules of appropriateness for conversations. Avoid controversial topics unless you’re in a space where such discussions are welcome.
5. Failure to Cooperate in Face Work
Face work refers to maintaining your own dignity (or “face”) and helping others save theirs.
• Examples: Allowing someone to embarrass themselves without helping them recover, or failing to smooth over awkward situations.
Tip: Develop an awareness of social cues and practice repairing embarrassing moments for yourself and others.
6. Too Much or Too Little Self-Disclosure
Sharing too much or too little personal information can alienate others.
• Too much: Revealing deeply personal problems to new acquaintances may overwhelm them.
• Too little: Never sharing anything about yourself may make you seem secretive or untrustworthy.
Tip: Start with light, safe topics (e.g., hobbies, favorite shows) when meeting new people. Gradually build deeper conversations as relationships grow.
7. Lack of Relevance in Conversation
Contributing unrelated or random comments breaks the flow of conversations.
• Non-sequiturs: Abruptly changing topics without context.
• Off-topic comments: Failing to connect your responses to the ongoing discussion.
Tip: Stay on topic unless there’s a natural opportunity to transition. Listen carefully to maintain relevance.
8. Inability to Gracefully Enter or Leave Conversations
Social rituals guide how we join or exit interactions.
• Entering abruptly: Interrupting ongoing conversations without a smooth segue.
• Leaving awkwardly: Ignoring subtle cues that others are ready to wrap up the discussion.
Tip: Observe others’ body language and verbal cues. Practice entering and exiting conversations with politeness.
9. Not Using Back-Channel Cues
Back-channel cues, like “mm-hmm” or “oh, interesting,” signal that you’re engaged in the conversation. Without them, people may assume you’re not listening.
Tip: Use small verbal affirmations or nods to show interest and attentiveness.
10. Lack of Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. A lack of empathy may result in seeming indifferent or disconnected.
Examples:
• Failing to acknowledge someone’s emotions.
• Struggling to see situations from others’ perspectives.
Tip: Work on empathic listening—ask questions, acknowledge feelings, and practice compassion.
11. Violating Social Norms
Behaviors or beliefs far outside cultural norms may lead to isolation or perceptions of awkwardness. While quirkiness is celebrated, going too far can alienate others.
Tip: Strike a balance—celebrate your uniqueness while staying aware of societal norms.
Why These Behaviors Matter
Each of these behaviors contributes to the overall impression others have of you. The good news? Social skills can be learned and improved. With observation, practice, and potentially professional coaching, you can develop these skills and change perceptions of awkwardness or weirdness.
Conclusion
Feeling socially awkward can be painful, but it’s not a permanent label. By identifying specific behaviors—like managing eye contact, maintaining hygiene, and using empathy—you can cultivate better relationships and greater confidence in social situations.
Remember, it’s okay to have unique ideas or quirks, but mastering these communication skills will help bridge the gap between your individuality and societal expectations.
FAQs
Q1: Can social awkwardness be overcome?
Yes! Social skills are learnable with effort, observation, and practice. Start by addressing specific behaviors that may be causing awkwardness.
Q2: What are back-channel cues?
Back-channel cues are small verbal or non-verbal signals (e.g., “mm-hmm,” nodding) that show you’re actively listening in a conversation.
Q3: Why is empathy important in social interactions?
Empathy helps you understand and connect with others’ feelings, creating stronger and more meaningful relationships.
Q4: How do I avoid oversharing in new relationships?
Stick to light, safe topics at first. Gradually share more personal details as the relationship grows stronger.
